I think nobody read this blog, I hardly ever use it. The following is probably just your everyday marriage complaint and pain. You are forewarned; however, if you do continue on, please leave a suggestion.
I seem to have lost my communication ability with my husband. Not that we don't talk, it's that when we talked about anything serious these days, I feel wronged, or being picked on, and unable to speak without crying. Then it just go downhill from there because it's really difficult to present a logical argument while sobbing not to mention making someone else understand.
We are at a place where I think he is so stubborn about his thinking that, although he tries, but still can seem to understand where am I coming from. And I'm just too emotional, we both agree on that, too tired to talk anymore. And it just run the viscious cycle.
I think there are only two ways of solving the problem. One, throw in the towel and call it quit. Two, just accept each other as is, no matter how far we are from who we were ten years ago.
But we can't even agree on that. He doesn't want to quit, and he keep on talking about what we were like, what we agreed upon ten years ago. God! I'm willing to admit I'm not the person I was ten years ago! But can't a person change? Or, can a person will herself not to change? I don't think I have the power to control that. BTW, I think I changed because of the myriad little requests that my spouse made during our ten year marriage. I've changed so much that I don't recognized myself anymore! And then, I'm accused of not being the person I used to be. Fine. I practically demand that we end this union because I'm not holding up my end of the deal, and he refused, repeatedly. Can someone tell me what going on inside men's, or may just this man's, mind?
What do one do? Stick it out because it's just a phase that every couple go through? Stick it out because we can just go on like this for the rest of our lives? Insist on going separate ways?